Nora

Your baby has no control of what he is doing and cannot by reasoned with, any threats of anger or outbursts are useless and terribly damaging. Physical aggression or force is never okay and can lead to broken bones, brain damage, or worse. It's not malicious, or spiteful, or mean. It's just how they are, and it's all they can do to communicate.

Your child needs you to be his protector, not predator. Parental aggression (especially from the father) is a real phenomena, especially with colic babies.

Recognize when your frustration is rising and quickly remove yourself from your baby and wife (assuming they are in a safe place together). Sleep in the living room, or even out in your car to separate the possibility of physical contact between you and your child.

Return only when your temper is back down.

Talk to your wife so she understands what's happening at moments when you suddenly need some space. Trying to explain in the moment could result in you just getting more frustrated if she's not understanding quickly enough.

Breathe deep, take a break, step away. Parenting is hard, and if you act out when your child needs you it can be even harder.

Nora

I should have said sprinkle in the title! They perfectly describes what I have in mind when I think of the ideal baby shower.

I know that people get hooked up with the idea of the idea of an elegant baby shower celebration but I am of the oppinion that they should also be fun, light hearted, and accessable to all. We already have all the big items we needed after our first child was born, so it was really only a matter of acquiring the small items that we needed, which we could do on our own. There was no need to start a registry simply because family members had requested it.

As I said, the idea was to have fun.

And I really did have a blast at my first. My first shower was a fancy baby showers were at the hostess' house, open house, a la carte meal, with some games (which could have been skipped) and some flowers in vases made one of the showers' decor. Super simple! I loved every minute of it!

A bay shower isn't meant to be a big fancy gathering. It's mainly going to be gathering with finger foods and cake. Don't go expecting a ton of gifts, but a few family members are bound to contribute.

The birth of a child is a beautiful thing.

And I don't know any mothers that were expecting some big deal, but it is nice when immediate family does something for them. I can see when a mom has like 6 kids, but I don't see why each birth can't be celebrated to some extent. Also, why the rude tone for some mothers that have multiple baby shower, or sprinkles or whatever you want to call it. I mean it is something nice. Saying that they are simply to deck her our with items for the baby is like saying that you can only have one wedding due to some old traditions. It's not an arguement.

One thing that I would like to add, you will get some gifts, but that is normal. It is a shower after all. But skip the book.

People think that it is cute to get the book, that it replaces gifts.

It doesn't.

I know it's pretty common and a lot of baby showers are doing it now, but it kind of makes me (personally) feel like the shower-thrower is asking for a gift on top of a gift.

Stick to simple, don't make too many thoughts on how it will look, there is a good chance that it will look different, yet perfect. In the end you will be left with a baby shower that was beautiful and elegant!

Nora

Is it possible that one drink a week could cause harm? Sure, it's possible. There are effects are called Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASDs) which are any negative effects caused by drinking, and are different from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome proper.

When some women get pregnant they do not know it, not at first. It can take several weeks until they learn about the pregnancy.

During that time they live their life. And that may involve smoking and drinking.

As long as your partner has stopped drinking and smoking since you've found out that your expecting, you're fine. At six weeks, your baby is still just a bundle of cells.

That's what my doctor told me when I first found out that I was pregnant.

Basically, don't feel bad because there's no harm done and she didn't know anyway. If it makes you feel any better, I used to smoke like a chimney I quit smoking at 6 weeks pregnant.

Nora

Our 5 year old is obsessed with it and it really bothers me, for two reasons.

I'm talking about the YT Kids app.

For one the content is mostly garbage. It is primarily parents exploiting their children for hopes of Internet fame or monetary reasons and I really can't stand it. I don't want her to learn that being a spoiled brat or being showered with gifts is the norm. Beyond that the strange daddy finger remixes with strange spider man cameos are nothing short of disturbing.

Not to mention the creepy adult "hands only" videos where they basically just cover some popular figurines in play doh and unwrap them, endlessly.

We don't let our son watch it on a phone or tablet. He gets so sucked into it that he totally forgets about the rest of the world. The one way we found to compromise is to cast YouTube to the TV. Somehow, he's distracted enough by his surroundings that he doesn't turn into a little zombie like he does when he used to watch on the tablet.

Plus, we control what gets played.

If he is to use the iPad we use the app Cakey. You create your own play lists of YouTube videos so only videos you add can be seen. You can also download pre-made playlists by other cakey users.

Highly recommend!

Nora

I wouldn't say that having games at a baby shower is in itself bad, but I definitely do not like the diaper one.

It is gross and I don't see the fun in it at all.

I think doing something creative is great, we did this, I've also seen people do coloring pages of the alphabet for an ABCs book for example. You can extrapolate the same game out and decorate blocks as well!

And, instead of paint you can do iron-on transfers by getting some heat-n-bond (at a fabric store) and ironing it on to cute fabric, then cut the shape you want from the fabric, peel the backing, and iron it on the clothes!

Also, throw in some toddler sized t-shirts to your decorating pile. I hear new parents get tons of clothes for baby that they'll grow out of super fast, but the kiddo will spend more time in toddler clothes.

Another hilarious idea I saw was to take screenshots from horror movies and from women giving birth (or just still pics) and crop it to just the lady's face. Then you play "Labor or Horror Movie?" and have people try to guess which movie it comes from.

Don't do this if the mom to be is scared of labor, though.

Nora

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is the unexplained death, usually during sleep, of a seemingly healthy baby less than a year old. SIDS is sometimes known as crib death because the infants often die in their cribs.

SIDS is not the cause of every sudden infant death. Each year in the United States, thousands of babies die suddenly and unexpectedly. These deaths are called SUID, which stands for “Sudden Unexpected Infant Death.”

SUID includes all unexpected deaths: those without a clear cause, such as SIDS, and those from a known cause, such as suffocation. One-half of all SUID cases are SIDS. Many unexpected infant deaths are accidents, but a disease or something done on purpose can also cause a baby to die suddenly and unexpectedly.

“Sleep-related causes of infant death” are those linked to how or where a baby sleeps or slept.

These deaths are due to accidental causes, such as suffocation, entrapment, or strangulation. Entrapment is when the baby gets trapped between two objects, such as a mattress and a wall, and can’t breathe. Strangulation is when something presses on or wraps around the baby’s neck, blocking the baby’s airway.

These deaths are not SIDS.

SIDS is not:

  1. SIDS is not the same as suffocation and is not caused by suffocation.
  2. SIDS is not caused by vaccines, immunizations, or shots.
  3. SIDS is not contagious.
  4. SIDS is not the result of neglect or child abuse.
  5. SIDS is not caused by cribs.
  6. SIDS is not caused by vomiting or choking.
  7. SIDS is not completely preventable, but there are ways to reduce the risk.

Facts About SIDS:

  1. More than 2,000 babies died of SIDS in 2010, the last year for which such statistics are available. 1
  2. Most SIDS deaths occur in babies between 1 month and 4 months of age, and 90% of SIDS deaths occur before a baby reaches 6 months of age.
  3. More male babies die from SIDS than girls.
  4. In most cases, no sign of distress is identifiable. The baby typically feeds normally prior to going to sleep.
  5. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) may be initiated at the scene, but evidence shows a lack of beneficial effect from CPR.

"Why does SIDS happen?"

In the past decade, researchers identified how low oxygen levels, combined with an underlying brain defect, can cause SIDS. Scientists believe a triple-risk model explains many SIDS cases: A baby has a defect in an area of the brain that controls breathing and arousal; the baby is at an age when those brain areas are still immature; and the baby is exposed to an external stress that compromises his breathing or oxygen levels, or that causes overheating.

“To have a SIDS death, you have to have at least one of those [factors], and you have a higher risk if you have two or three of those happening at the same time,” says Fern Hauck, a professor of family medicine at the University of Virginia School of Medicine in Charlottesville.

Sleeping face-down on a soft surface or with soft bedding that can press up against the face can decrease a baby’s oxygen flow too much. When this happens, a normal baby will auto-resuscitate by gasping, crying, turning his head or moving. “It’s thought that SIDS infants have a defective arousal mechanism, which means they stay in that position and gradually suffocate,” Dr. Fern Hauck, a professor of family medicine at the University of Virginia School of Medicine in Charlottesville says. "Overheating is thought to lead to SIDS in a similar way, by suppressing an infant’s arousal response."

The connection between brain defects and SIDS was raised definitively in 2010, when researchers at Children’s Hospital Boston discovered that SIDS babies were deficient in the brain-signaling chemical serotonin in the brain stem. In fact, according to some research, 50 to 75 percent of infants who die of SIDS have a serotonin defect.

Other researchers have found that about 10 to 15 percent of SIDS deaths can be traced to babies with a genetic predisposition for a heart rhythm disorder that can go undetected and lead to cardiac arrest, says Marta Cohen, a pediatric pathologist at Sheffield Children’s Hospital in England. http://www.dallasnews.com/lifestyles/health-and-fitness/health/20130902-new-research-into-sids-gives-parents-clearer-guidelines.ece

How does breastfeeding reduce the risk of SIDS?

Researchers identified 288 studies on SIDS and breastfeeding from 1966 to 2009 and narrowed their analysis to 18 studies that met basic research quality criteria. The results showed that for infants who received any breastmilk for any duration, the likelihood of SIDS was 60% lower.

  • For infants who were breastfed at 2 months of age and older, the risk was 62% lower.
  • Exclusive breastfeeding without any use of formula for any duration appeared to provide the biggest benefits. The risk of SIDS among exclusively breastfed infants was 73% lower.

Although these findings are based on observational studies and cannot prove a direct cause and effect relationship between breastfeeding and SIDS prevention, researchers say there are several plausible biological reasons. For example, breastfed infants may be more easily aroused from sleep than formula-fed infants at 2-3 months of age, which is within the 2-4 months peak age of SIDS cases. In addition, breastfeeding delivers antibodies known as immunoglobulins that may help protect infants from infection during the period they are most at risk for SIDS.